I've come to understand I constantly keep my life busy and full of activity – and that's how I like it. Maybe it'll always be this way, I don't know.

So at my current stage of life, I once again recognize the joy I get from meeting other people and working towards the countless topics I believe in or find interesting. I seemingly also like changing my location ever so often to keep my mind fresh, helping me stay curious and energetic. It's just my nature, and it helps me keep my balance. This way I stay on a sound path, even if it doesn't always play well with others – and that's something I've often suppressed and felt bad about in the past, but I'm now learning to better deal with as I go. It's only normal.

You see, it's my mind and my life. If I don't take care of myself, there's no one else to save me. If I don't control some of the bad aspects of my nature, people including myself, will not want to spend much time with me anymore, and onwards from there such stories tend to be the sad ones.

As I continue experiencing and perceiving this world in such an intimate and reflective way due to my own apparent sensitivity, I want to gain confidence to worry less and eliminate all the unnecessary thinking, and particularly the type which affects my own sense of selfhood.

Finding out how I tick, and acknowledging all these connections, I'm already feeling better and happier, and more engaged in my life with less darker shadows lingering on my mind. They might always stay there, occasionally trying to sneak out and manifest themselves by taking control of my perceptions when I least recognize it, so I understand it's a lifelong process, and I'll keep my guard and learn to better manage these things.

Everyone has problems and people go through difficult things at different times – at least it seems to be rather the rule than the exception.

So anyhow, my life isn't currently very stationary because, for whatever reason, I like it that way, and it's the life I've chosen for myself so far. I think I'll stay on the move with my learning and my progress, so I'll be doing things at my own pace while staying careful with the responsibilities and roles I assume.

Coming back to the many days when I'm alone with nothing much going on – I've come to realize a simple idea that makes me happy and energized instead of turning me towards frustration.

Having all these ambitions and wishes about what to keep learning and spending my time on while experiencing new things and building new skills – it's for such things that my stationary lonely-feeling days fit perfectly well for. It's during days when I have the least things planned, wondering what or where I can spend my time that I can best progress with my own little goals, or try to relax in a more purposeful and positively lonely way. In all things I like to be doing there are surely many aspects that are best done in solitude – during such lonely or otherwise boring-feeling days.

So it's alone where I can best dedicate lots of my time on things I care about in a way that isn't possible when I'm busy running around meeting others.

Some states of relaxation, progress or ideas won't arrive to me from someone else, and it's a false assumption I may have had until now that I'd get that from others. I may have sought for input and guidance from a lot of the things happening outside me that could perhaps help me show the way. Now I recognize this as immature. The course of action I often took where I focused my attention and demands on someone else and clinged on to others is something I want to no longer be doing.

It's as if my purposeless idle time may be slightly dangerous and if I don't properly direct my time while ending up scattering it on useless platforms or other apps, I end up going nowhere and become sad.

I only have to appreciate all the moments where I can just sit down and enjoy my own private things and interests, hobbies and work. Alone.

When my favorite days with all-out activity and other people along with good moments finally arrive again – and they always do – I will enjoy them double! Time with my friends, my close ones and all the great people I have around me is precious. All the busy-stuff, activities and days I spend with others feel even better when I know I've spent some proper time working on my own stuff, like my Master's thesis or other work, without needing anything from anyone, or anyone needing anything from me.

As Seneca once wrote, it's not that we don't have enough time, it's rather that we use the time we have wastefully. We fail to treat time as something of value even though it's our most valuable resource.

Adding to Seneca's point, my own time in solitude is as valuable and I shouldn't waste all too much of that either. At least not on all the obsessive unnecessary thinking which as an analytical strength of mine I once thought I had firmly under my control, but that at some time ended up turning against me.

And just as well, I might enjoy drawing while listening to music, go for a nice bicycle ride or a swim, and enjoy a brief paddling in a river – all by myself and in solitude – and on my own time.